Ruminating...

So lately I've been thinking about the life of an SB and all that it entails. Like I understand that choosing a lifestyle like this is a choice that should be weighed heavily because it requires a lot of time and patience and being able to separate these two aspects of your life. In some aspects I feel as though I am doing myself a disservice by not being a regular college-student, a regular 19 year-old, because I am not allowing myself the chance to truly experience being "broke" and in college and having to get creative with meals and such, and also the prudent spending of money. But then I feel as though because I have such high expectations for my life and such pronounced goals that in some ways I need to have a mentor/benefactor/sugar daddy who will help to make my goals a reality. 


"To attain something you've never had you need to do something you've never done" 


That quote sticks out in my head and I always think about how hard I've worked thus far and the hard work I am going to have to put in in the future that will allow for me to achieve my goals. I'm not saying that having a SD will be an easy way to success because there is no easy way, but instead having one will  help to actually materialize and make my goals truly attainable. I can't fail and I won't fail, and so many people don't understand what I mean when I say that...but if you are from the "hood" then you know what that means. I don't want the life my mother had, and I'm not saying that in a degrading way but instead in a "I want to be better" sort of way. Like I don't want to struggle as much as she did and I also don't want to find my "purpose" at a late age...But I understand that that is out of my hands. However, somehow I feel as though it is my responsibility to take care of my family and to be honest, that is where my money from SDs go. Like when I was with the "Mandarin-Oriental" man my allowance went into getting my bf a birthday present, saving for my brother's impending prison release, and making sure I had money so I wouldn't have to ask my mother for anything. At one point my mom needed money so I sent her what she needed. I don't feel as though a child should have to worry about money, but instead on her grades and retaining her innocence for as long as possible. Although, it appears that my reality differs what I believe should happen. But being a broke college student means that I can't buy my mother something extremely nice for mother's day and I hate that. I guess since my brother has been in jail I have been trying to take on the role of care-taker, especially trying to take care of my mom and my nephew. Like I guess I'm doing this because I just don't want to stress my mother will my problems which appear minuscule in comparison to hers. She has student loans, car payments, cell-phone payments, and health expenses while also paying what she can for my schooling. I just want to be independent so that my mother can focus on herself and not have to worry about me. But at the same time I don't want to do anything that will not make her proud. Although, I don't regret any decisions I have made so anyone else's opinions have no purpose. 
But I'm not sure...I'm taking my finals right now so I guess I can do more introspection when I have more time...but I hope all the other College SBs good luck with all of their finals!!
xoxo

I'm back!

Ok so I tried to take a hiatus from sugar and it's not working. I'm itching to just start everything all over again and start anew. And "Foe the Love of $" is stuck in my head right now lol So...I'm back and yeah... lol

I'll keep you guys updated but I will be updating my SA, SD, and AM accounts. K, cool.
;)

Mandarin Oriental Aftermath

Hi all!
So...I never gave the aftermath of my little Mandarin Oriental excursion...

Lol! It seems like it will be uber dramatic....
So...the day when we were leaving he springs it on me that although he "does well" he is not able to afford my 2.5k/month allowance....I mean Idk...I was annoyed because I would have rather known that sooner than later but whatever. But any who...I figured since I would be getting gifts (I was supposed to be getting an iPhone 4S on our next meeting) that it would be okay. So he gave me my 1300 and I then took a shower and got ready to go back to school.

Later that week...
I receive a text from him stating that he needed to talk to me and it was extremely urgent. So I call him like...ugh this man is the ultimate drama queen! So he tells me that he thought about it and his religion coupled with the fact that he really loves his wife is going to prevent him from moving forward with this because he had never done anything like that before and it was hard for him and blah, blah, blah...I was like yeah whatever...I'm calling bullshit on this one! Men are fickle. YOU wrote to ME. YOU made plans with ME. YOU wanted ME.

I don't have time. Lol

*Btw, I finally remembered the dessert I had at Cityzen...it was pineapple upside-down cake!*


Insider Edition
As of right now I am taking a small little sugar break, i.e SBFB. It seems as though there is a lot of drama and I don't have time...People were up in arms about the whole verification thing and I understood and I told them that they could kiss my ass if they didn't think I was real. Then I stepped back and thought "Well shit...there are probably a bunch of looney ass bitches trying to emulate something and it would be nice to absolutely know the real from the fake" So then I apologized to the person who brought up the idea because I realized that I was being a little asshole. But still...there are a few people on SBFB who I feel like calling shenanigans on. But whatever....

I have to get my personal/real life together before I attempt to add to it. I'm currently facing a cold that has been consistently getting worse over the week -___- Then when I went to my Student Health Center the bitch said to come back on Monday because there was one nurse...I just need a note for my teacher so that I can handle my business for class. UGH.

Updates...Mandarin Oriental

Hey all!
I didn't realize that it had been so long...I've been on SBFB so you can catch me on there :)
But I have some updates :)

About 2 weeks ago I had my first overnight with a POT at the Mandarin Oriental in DC. It was very nice. I mean he was above my age limit but I made an exception ;) We had dinner at CityZen and that was also very nice. We ordered off of the 4-course tasting menu and I had (I'm going to rate them lol):
-Scallops : 4/5
-Rockfish 2.5/5
-Lamb 5/5
and I forgot the dessert but I remember it being mediocre. But anyways, dinner was nice but I knew I had to get down to business once we got back upstairs to the room. At dinner we talked about a variety of things, including our shared love of music and photography and he told me that possibly a Canon D3000 could be on the horizon for me. He also told me about his family (because he is married) and his practice (he is a chiropractor). It was flowing pretty well, but I mean I'm pretty awkward so sometimes I just went blank lol He's Italian and I LOVE Italian men!! But once again...he's pretty old, fat, and short. I'm short damn self so I don't need anyone my height lol.
But we got up to the room and took a bubble bath together...let's just say that he is a Freak! He even went out to the store and purchased a vibrator, some lube, and some massage oils. I mean...sheesh! But yeah...the size was SUPER small AND he had to use Cialis which worked for about 15 minutes....not going to lie but I expected something different because before the overnight he was talking shit about how he would "rock my world" and I just thought he was going to ROCK MY WORLD...I rocked his. LOL. I mean I don't think an old Italian guy who was married for about 27 years is ready for a Black-Caribbean girl when it comes to "in between the sheets." Like Dance For You by Beyonce was stuck in my head. I'm not even gonna lie though, it's fun to be in control and to see someone's eyes roll back as you are grinding on them. I just love sex to be honest...But any who...

I got an iPad...he just gave it to me "to keep me entertained" as we waited for room service. We did it a few more times, listened to music, and fell asleep. The next morning we did it some more lol then I took a shower and he gave me a nice amount of money :D

This post is long as shit...and I'm super hungry so I'll do another telling of the aftermath and finishing this story.

(met him on AM btw)